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I was struck with a malady. I am not aware of the ubiquity of this disease. It is neither incurable nor excruciating. Nonetheless, I would prefer to live without it. The disease I was afflicted with was paedophobia.

I was seriously concerned with this particular affliction because it seemed like I was the only one to be bothered by paedophobia. I made up this disease. Whether it exists or not, I do not know. Since I made it up, I should be able to tell you what it is.

Paedophobia, as its name suggests, is the fear of children. In my case, it was very mild. I would neither go berserk nor shun them when I met children. However, I had a proclivity to avoid contact with children. The rationale was unclear even to myself. I did not know if I was afraid of hurting them or I just lacked the love for children. Whenever I saw people cajoling children so effortlessly and yet I could not do it, I always tell myself it was because they had taken care of a child before. Of course, it was a poor excuse.


Initially, I thought nothing of it. It was no big deal to me. However, as time went by, I became increasingly bothered by it. Get-togethers with relatives were quite frequent and usually toddlers and small children would be around. Being introverted by nature (and this is substantiated by the DISC Test and Myer-Briggs Test), I naturally feel awkward in such occasions. Furthermore, I could not horse around with children due to my ailment. Therefore, I was somewhat like the proverbial sore thumb. And as more time went by, people began to ask questions. 'Why am I so quiet?' or 'Why do I talk so little?', they would ask. This was an especially pressing issue as my sister was an absolute contrast to me. She was helpful, gregarious and most of all, good with kids. This was despite the fact that she had never taken care of children before. I knew everyone perceived me as some kind of weirdo. That feeling was dreadful and yet I felt I could do nothing about it. Probably, I was being apathetic.


All these changed on a fateful trip to Malaysia last December. I did not know why but I always either learned an important lesson or was touched by a poignant moment whenever I visited in Malaysia.

I went there, as usual, to visit my Malaysian relatives, primely my grandmother who was getting on in years. This time I went to Taiping, Sepatang, which was a quaint coastal village. From what I know, the place was the main exporter of charcoal and cockles in Malaysia. The pace of life at Sepatang was very slow. The village did not have high-tech entertainment like we had in the cities. Computers, handphones, gaming consoles were a rarity.

During the stay, my Second Aunt had arranged my mother and I to reside in her abode. When I stepped into her house, lo and behold, there were two children, who were both my nephew and niece. I felt the sky crashing down on me. I had no qualms living in a slightly backward village. However, throw in two children and it became mission impossible. As I had said earlier, there was nothing much to do bar watching the television. Consequently, clowning with the kids became the main preoccupation. As my mother could not be around me all the time, I was left defenceless against the menacing tykes.

At my wit's end, I decided to grasp the nettle. I was not going to run away from the problem. Instead, I was going to face it head on. I plucked up courage and opened up. A path of uncertainty laid ahead of me but I remained undaunted. Fight, I would, 'til the very end.

I was apprehensive but did not want to appear incompetent in front of my relatives. Moreover, my nephew was like a soft toy in flesh. His reactions were totally unpredictable, which were both good and bad because he brought so much amusement to me; on the other hand, he was difficult to look after.

After seven days of 'rigorous' training, I came out of Malaysia a new man. It was a deeply rewarding expereince for me. I strided across Woodlands Checkpoint and was greeted with a refreshing breeze . I felt a new lease of life breathed into me as the breeze coursed through my nostrils and enriched my lungs with that oh-so-good oxygen. I stood rooted and closed my eyes for a second to fully comprehend this momentous freedom. I could now receive children with arms wide open.

I was cured.