Caveat


If you find any content to be bigoted, politically incorrect and / or offensive in any manner at any point in time, please exit this blog IMMEDIATELY . Subsequently, ERASE any memory of what you have read, seen, inferred etcetera.
Thursday, April 23, 2009

Today, I am going to share three interesting pieces of news I have read from the newspapers.

First, North Koreans finally have their first sight of pizza after waiting for 10 long years. Last December, fat ass Kim just authorized the establishment of a pizzeria. A defector of North Korea has revealed that fat ass Kim is a food connoisseur. He has sent him on missions to find caviar from the Middle East, bacon from Denmark and melon from China. Hence, it came as no surprise when fat ass Kim assigned officers to Italy to perfect the painstaking art of al dante. The impoverished and famished North Koreans can now rejoice because they finally know how a pizza looks and tastes like. That is if they have the energy to reach the pizzeria first, of course.


Second, studies from Britain are saying that food-friendly people are environmentally-unfriendly. The carbon footprints left behind by these four-season snowmen are even more enormous than Bigfoot's. The obscene amounts of meat they consume results in the burgeoning production of cattle and this culminates in deep shit, both figuratively and literally. As we all know, manure emits methane gas which hastens global warming. So, Blubber Ongs alert! It is time for you to shed some glycerols to fit into those Billabong shorts!

Third, the aptly named brothel, The Pussy Club in Berlin is having a promotion that is not unlike the Great Singapore Sale to shopaholics. Lotharios out there, brace yourselves for this. The Pussy Club is offering unlimited, interminable, unbridled S-E-X for a mere $137! Yes, Chek Wei, I can see you already on the plane to Germany. Well, of course that is besides the point (If you believe me, you might as well exchange your testes with Shan Quan). The subtle but crucial implication is how serious the financial tsunami has hit us. When the profession that started since the cows came home stoops to discounts and promotions, it certainly sounds the siren for those who still believe that banks are as imperturbable and erect as priapic organs.

7:01 PM


Friday, April 17, 2009
Basketball

News hot off the court, my beloved team has been ousted after a disappointing performance at the Nationals. They have been a ghost of their former selves in the recent few matches, scraping past teams and even getting totally outclasssed by a astronomical (yes, it is that severe in our context) number of points. The inclement and ultimate blow came today when NT beat PH to play us out. I felt a tinge of sadness come over me for a split second but did not experience the vicarious grief of a legacy's demise. Anyway, I take tremendous pride of being once part of a legend, albeit a diminutive part. To my teammates, please do not dwell on the defeat. Instead, focus on the illuminated path ahead.

Fortunately, I can seek solace in reading Jeffrey Archer's Not A Penny More, Not A Penny Less while munching on marshmallows dipped in milk chocolate, bee honey and sugar icing.

7:01 PM



After watching the Campus Superstar Finals on Sunday, I felt really inspired to participate in the CHMA. However, my desire has been treated with condescending remarks from my peers. It is okay. I am a person who rises to the occasion. I will go for it without regrets. If I did not get into the finals, I will tell myself that at least I tried.

6:55 PM



By the way, Macheda helped United claim victory against minnows Sunderland last week with a timely deflection. He was simply in the right place, at the right time to score the goal. Macheda is slowly but surely morphing himself into United's talismanic super sub, reminiscent of Solskjaer.

6:51 PM


UCL QF Second Leg

Remember the last time I mentioned about football's unpredictability? It looks like my powers of clairvoyance has been very accurate. Chelsea versus Liverpool. A match which seems superfluous as Liverpool will face an insurmountable task of overturning the 3-1 deficit, proved otherwise. The match ended in a enthralling 4-4 draw. It was one hell of a rollercoaster ride for fans from both sides. They endured the entire gamut of feelings from joy to despair. However, Lady Luck was not on Liverpool's side, or rather Reina was not on Liverpool's side and Chelsea prevailed.

Meanwhile, Manchester United scored a historic 1-0 win over Porto away from home. They were greatly boosted by the return of defensive stalwart Ferdinand, which eventually did play a crucial role in containing Porto. Manchester United came on the pitch with a great start. A 35-yard screamer from Ronaldo gave them the lead in the 6 minute. Porto was flabbergasted by the wonder strike. They tried to respond but was stymied by the stifling defence of United. For most parts of the game, Porto were anonymous and United held on for the win.

After 6 games of convalescence, Manchester United are in the pink of health. Their defence is now as solid as Chek Wei's penis (I don't owe you anymore) and their road to the quintuple seems bright again. They will face Arsenal in the penultimate stage of the UCL.

5:08 PM


Thursday, April 9, 2009

Football. Ever so unpredictable. Ever so erratic. These comments were indeed proven right after the wild mid-week UCL QF. Manchester United were held to 2-2 draw by Porto on Wednesday morning. I was stunned by the harrowing result. It felt surreal but yet I knew that the harsh reality was staring at me. Manchester United's defence had turned from as tight as skinny jeans to as leaky as Chek Wei's penis. Formerly revered as the impregnable fortress, they are now a far cry from their former selves, letting in 10 goals in the last 4 games. Morale is certainly at an absolute low at Manchester United. However, I will not dwell on this loss. They just have to pick themselves up again and get ready for their next battle.

Manchester United will have to win to advance. Anything less than a win will culminate in a premature exit for Manchester United. This is indeed a massive dent in United's quest for a quintuplet but my faith is unyielding. If fans could still remember the miraculous comebacks in Manchester United's historic treble-winning season, like the victories over Bayern and Juventus in the UCL and the Ryan Giggs solo goal against Arsenal in the FA cup semi-final, then you know Manchester United at their zenith is unstoppable. Comebacks are their forte. A win at Porto may require a Herculean effort from Manchester United but it is defnitely not mission impossible.

And like I said, 'Football. Ever so unpredictable. Ever so erratic'

And maybe Bayern Munich will thrash Barcelona 5-0 at Allianz Arena? Just maybe. You never know.

9:54 PM


HAPPY BIRTHDAY MERVYN!!!

Today is Mervyn's birthday. He has been a close friend of mine for about three years or so I guess. He is rather introverted but can be really intelligent with his jokes at times. I think he is quite similar in character with Leh Chuan and me because the three of us are like usually anti-social in public areas but really open amongst our close friends. It is kind of like a Jekyll and Hyde thing. Anyway, that is just my opinion. I would not say I know him very well. I mean even best friends keep secrets from each other.

To the main point, I am glad to have a friend like you and I wish you all the best. I remember all the super lame jokes we shared (i.e the Prison Break storyline) and of course all the after school football games. Frankly, I see you as one of the best players in the school. I sincerely believe you can get that 6A1s. You just have to have more confidence in yourself and belief -- believe that you can achieve whatever you want as long as you set your mind to it. Lastly, I hope that we can be friends for years to come. Happy birthday Mervyn!!

9:29 PM


Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Hi everyone! I have uploaded songs and videos on my blog and will continue to do so. Do check it out. I hope my uploads will not bore you. I apologise if they do. I just upload whatever I feel is interesting and hope you like it. Do not worry, I will not impose on your ears and activate the autoplay function(although its because I do not know how to activate it). Anyway, talking about this, I am rather confused about my music idiosyncracies. I feel like some caveman whenever I compare the songs I listen to with the songs my peers listen to. Hence, feel free to tag your comments on the songs I listen to and probably help to decipher what is the general trend of my music.



The first video I am uploading is about the long forgotten group 梦飞船. I personally admire the group's talents but am unable to comprehend why they did not become popular. This video is one of the rare remnants of their performances. The last song 不值得 is really 强, sung mainly by the Superstar judge,林祺玉.



Also,the song uploaded is a mandarin song by one of my fave singers 林志炫. Many people from my age group have not heard about him. He is like one of the legendary singers in Taiwan. He is venerated for his wide range and mixed voice. This means his transition from real voice to falsetto is seamless and in fact, his falsetto sounds like his real voice. In the near future, I will still stick to his theme so do not expect songs from other singers yet. The song I have uploaded is 时机. The song has a carefree atmosphere, if words could describe it.



6:30 PM


Manchester United's Blackjack

What an exhilarating match!Manchester United beat Aston Villa 3-2!This is certainly one of the defining moments for Manchester United in this season.They come up with a great comeback win after falling behind 2-1 in 50+ minutes.

Manchester United had not been themselves lately with two successive defeats at the hands of Liverpool and Fulham. After their dismal first-half performance, in which G Neville was unable to cope with Carew's physical presence and Ashley Young was rampant down the flanks, I thought that maybe they should just focus on the Champions League and FA cup ties. However, Ronaldo, who did not do much during the game and even indirectly caused the conceding of Aston Villa's second goal, scored a decisive equaliser in the 80 minute with a low and rightly placed shot. Then Welback came on late in the game to partner the substitute Macheda in attack and United started to regain their belief again. Fletcher and Ronaldo shaved the posts in the dying moments of normal time. Welback even had a one-to-one opportunity but he was denied by the safe hands of Brad Friedel. I was on my edge of my seat. My thoughts precariously balanced on whether Manchester United would come up with a stoppage time winner or dash my hopes by ending the match in a stalemate. Then came the euphoric moment. Macheda, the 17 year-old unknown, demanded the ball from Giggs whilst wrestling for space in the penalty area. Upon receiving the pass, a deft touch from behind his legs created just enough space for him to turn and curl the ball past the desparing hands of Friedel and into goal. At that instant, all the pent up emotions exploded inside me. I just ran around the house celebrating hysterically and then lie flat on the floor. At the same time, I felt a huge stone off my chest. Manchester United had won.

The goal came from the most unlikeliest of sources,but it was not to be discredited. Macheda showed precocious composure and instinct to score the winner. Ferguson took a gamble and it paid off. All gamblers would probably refuse to leave the table right after they got a blackjack because they believe they are on a winning streak.

This win would be Manchester United's blackjack and I am sure they may just well be on their winning streak.

6:20 PM




Friends are fish, not food

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?GuoChuan
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?LehChuan
?NgZiXuan
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